About F'n Time

Almost a year ago I wrote this:

So normally I'm not all that moved by much. Normally I can take things in stride. I can watch or witness something and come away from as the same person I went into it with. Today was an exception. Today I watched my roommate graduate college. I honestly didn't think it was that big of a deal. I mean, it was someone else's day, someone else's accomplishment, and someone else's moment. As I sat up in the stands, and watched not only him, but also countless others see their labor come to fruition, I found myself motivated. You would think the fact that I'm IN college, the fact that I've wasted several years of my life dicking off, not really pressing forward in academia, and generally just "spinning my wheels" when it comes to academic achievement would be enough motivation. The feeling or sensation isn't really something that I'm capable of, or even comfortable describing. I will say this, I want to be one of those people. I want to don the faggy cap and gown. I want too many pictures taken. I want to be the source of pride for my family and friends. I want to know that there was a reason that I tortured myself, stayed up too late studying, ignored social opportunities, and got myself in ungodly debt.

Fucked up punctiation aside, it's all still pretty true. It's just 8 days and 5 finals away. I like my "school" for the most part, but I hate college. Usually I'm in a rush to get the fuck off of that campus, to get away from the annoying frat fucks and the screeching voices of the sorority bitches. Today was a little different. I got out of class a little after 3. It was really fuckin' cold today, but I wasn't in a real hurry to get out of it. I just kind of ambled my way across campus to my truck. Not really "taking it all in", but I didn't go out of my way not to as I normally would've.

College hasn't really gone the way I, or anyone else, thought it would for me. I expected to be in and out in 5 years max. Double that and you'll have my tally. Should've bet the over on that one I guess. I'm disappointed, but things have turned out pretty well. I already have a really good job, my boss is amazing to work for, and I get to work with one of my best friends 3 days of the week. I've always had the tendency to touch the hot stove as opposed to heed the warning of someone, but I'm pretty sure that having my hand burnt has resulted in some scars I'm pretty comfortable with.