I Have An Announcement...

No one will go hungry, without shelter, in need of medical attention in the U.S. from here on out. The deficit is actually now a surplus, global warming has been reversed, every child in America has an opportunity for higher education, and Bin Laden has been brought to justice. New Orleans has been restored, terrorist threats are a thing of the past, Arrested Development has been rightfully put back on television and can never be canceled again, and all reality shows have been permanently banned from the airwaves. Oh yeah, an afterthought, all the members of the military have come home.

Seem boastful? Not when you read this.

Congress has found the fucking time to pass a resolution to congratulate a fucking football team. I doubt that this is the first instance of this kind of cock slapping, but it's the first I've been privy to.

Here's a fact, I like sports more than you do. I spend ridiculous amounts of time watching, playing, simulating, reading about, thinking about, and anticipating athletic events. Even with that being true, I'd like to line 415 people up and spit in their fucking faces for the absurdity of passing a revolution to honor some trivial bullshit.

My Dad has maintained for years that these people are "public servants", and should act accordingly. Not true Pop. These motherfucking scumbags should be held to a much higher standard than what the general populace deems normal behavior. I realize that the majority of people probably find this exercise in pretentiousness acceptable but they shouldn't, and neither should the people chosen to "represent" us.

As ridiculous as I find the entire ordeal, I'm actually more infuriated by the douche that decided to take some cutesy stance of protest. Did he abstain to show how unnecessary this jack-fest was? Of course not, that would be respectable. Instead this guy had the moral courage to vote against the resolution based on the fact that he's a Georgia fan. I should note that three members chose to ignore this exercise in knob-polishing by merely voting "present". Kudos to you as well as the seventeen that didn't bother to vote (I actually have more respect for them even working under the assumption that they were absent).


Absolutely disgusting.

Sleep well America, we're in good hands.

Praying For A Natural Disaster...

and I hope it makes Katrina look like a lazy breeze.

Mind Ya Business...Or Else

So ya wanna be a hero?



Apparently if you do something nice, you can lose your fucking mind.

With that being said, I vow to punch babies, trip the blind, and be a general pain in the ass to everyone I meet.

Why can't people just do something praise worthy, accept that praise, and then move on? A couple weeks back I was wondering aloud (bitching) to this guy about how "addictive" celebrity is. Specifically, I was asking him about that cop show with the midget and Ponch, and if it could really be that these people NEED that in their lives?

I guess I have my answer. If "Regular Joe" can be completely consumed by his time in the limelight, how the fuck can we expect someone who enjoyed the kind of "success" that La Toya did to handle it gracefully? Douches.

By the way, "Armed and Famous" certainly seems like false advertising to me.

So I Went Home For Christmas...

You need to meet my Dad. No seriously, he's one of the most entertaining cats that has graced the planet. He doesn't try, nothing is forced, yet he continually brings it. A lifetime of civil service (military and postal) has no doubt chiseled him into the personality he is today.

This particular day found me riding in a vehicle with Pop. His driving style is bipolar at best...continually alternating between 75 and 45 mph, with no real modus operandi. This is all beside the point.

President Ford had died the night before and seeing opportunity to crack wise, I said "Sure is nice to see that they lowered the flag for James Brown".

Dad just looked at me in disgust. I was proud.